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He squats down from the opposite side of the laundry room staring at the shelves in the closet. They’re all full of mass taken up the closet like cancer. The entirety of the closet is full of junk and yet it holds it’s place within this home. They’re considered small insignificant items, but they’re really just shards of memory that he’s left behind his entire life. At five years old those blocks were nothing more than object thrown at other kids in full force. Now, they represent better days. Days where he was happy. Days where life was simple. Days when he didn’t know what the white powder that always hung to the hairs of his fathers mustache.
Now it’s all oblivion.
Absolute bliss.
He remains still squatting with a breath so shallow that silence spoke louder. Moments flood back into his mind unpacking various amounts of emotion he’d sealed since these incidents. Everything just spills out like a glass of water knocked over. His memories are flooding to every crevice of his thoughts.
Who wouldn’t be hurt? Living a life where lovers have loved you last to her. Your thoughts always crowded with ways to compete for the attention. Oh how they’re infatuated with her. The way she makes them laugh. The way she comforts them. The way she heals their pain.
Who could have thought?
Who could have thought she’d ever turn like that?
No one ever peered in the imaginable idea that she’d betray everyone. Oh how they were pulled apart by her. Piece by piece until they had everything to give and nothing to lose. The way she destroyed them. The way she mutated them. Little monsters.
He’s still remains their in that damn position with both knees bent. The funny thing about the human body is it always adapts to the nature it’s in. Knees and their joints support us even when our weight grows consistently throughout our lives. Specifically when we are crouched and down. Our knees are completely bent and can’t go any further while our full weight bears its whole on our joints. Well, you see James might be down, but he’s only in the position to go up.
We’re all buried by something. It’s a matter of letting the people around dig deep enough to find you. And sometimes, the right thing isn’t always brought about with clarity or accessibility. The things that are worth it are those that you have to squint to see and progress through to obtain.
